Love is sweeter the second time around

There are things in life that you cannot hold on forever, no matter how much you fight for it. Sometimes destiny isn't always good, it becomes playful. When you meet someone you learned to love, you thought that it was destiny who made your paths cross. But what if making your paths cross is just part of the game that the playful destiny create? Making you realize in the end that the person you thought that was destined for you wasn’t really meant to stay, but only destined to make you feel loved and leave you when you've already fallen..."

Here we go again. I'd like to believe that i have moved on, but I was wrong. All these time I thought that he was already buried in the grave. I thought I don't need him. And I thought..... I pretended to be alright and okay. True, there were times that I was able to convinced myself that at long last, he's no longer part of me. But along the line where i thought that i have to discover myself, he was still a big part of me. I would not say that I cannot live without him for it is never true. I would say life is happier with him.

I never complained why all these things happened. Why I met him, and worse why i fell in love with him. Yes, He was my first love. He was the one who made me feel that i have the right to love, to be happy. And he was also the one who took those rights away from me. For months, I cursed him, And I regret the day that i met him. There were so many people involve in the story. I have offended so many people and dprived them the right to apologized.

But old sayings is always true, First love never dies.It still burns like a midnight candle. It still lights my path towards happiness. I don't know much on how to define happiness, all i know is that i'm hapy with him.

There were still issues left unanswered. Though it hurts, and it almost shattered my world, I accepted that everything happens in me, nmay it be positive or negative-- they all happen for a reason.

Today, we're still going out together. We still did the things we used to do before. We still care for each other. I accepted his offer to by his tutor. I accepted it because i want to be happy again. I want to feel love the second time around. I want to see him and be there for him in times he need me most. I want to be with him throughout his academic journey. I'm not afraid that in the long run, i would be left behind. I'm not afraid because i'm happy. I'm not afraid because at least i experienced how to love. I'm not afraid if he will love me bac, because I'm not expecting anything in return.

The only thing I do is to live with my dream and desire that he is mina and mine only. I want to assume that we are lovers. That he is commited to me and so do i. I want to assume that he rides me home because he wants me to be safe from harm. I want to tell him that i love him, but how can I, if he's only a dream that will never come true.
Today, I love him. Tomorrow i still love him and for the days more to come.