Astounding Dilemma

Expect the most unexpected.

The events were too fast. It happened swiftly that I wasn't able to recognize my path. I was overly controlled my my feelings. I just see that bigger picture of it, not the simple details which makes everything complicated, worse, hurting. I'm too good to accept favors without expecting anything in return. I'm always like that, fo as long as i have the time, I will devote my time to someone who needs myself very badly.

Contrary to what other people said about me, I'm not that inconsiderate. It's that i'm acting like I'm one. But the truth of the matter is.. mataay lang talaga ako.

Minsan ko ng ipinangako sa sarili ko na I will never let this weakness control my life. Especially now that I'm in the most crucial part of my studies. I don't have to blame anybody. Afterall, feelings ang pinag-uusapan dito. Damdamin in other words. Halos ilang buwan din akong nagmukmok kung bakit wala akong lovelife. At sa di malamang kadahilanan, tinanggap ko yun.

But there are events that would remind you love back the peson you thought nakalimutan mo na. Hindi mo maiwasang maalala ang mga sandaling hawak niya ang mundo mo. Hindi mo iisipin ang mga sandaling pinaiyak ka niya.

When Joey revealed to me that he is having an affair with someone, Tinanggap ko ito ng buong-buo. Although nasaktan ako, na para bang matatalo pa ang mga bagyong dumaan sa Luzon the pat weeks. Napag-iisip-isip ko na its about time to let go of him. Let go na wala nang kami, wala ng tayo. Magkalimutan na! Bawal maging friends, bawal mag contact at iba pa.

Sa kabilang banda, naiisip ko rin kung paano na siya kung wal ako? I don't want to blame myself kung mabagsak siya sa course niya.

Peo maninindiganako this time. PINILI NIYA ANG IBA, PWES, WALA NG MAMAMAGITAN SA AMING DALAWA. MATIRA NA LANG ANG MATIBAY...

I HOPE KAYA KO 'TONG PANINDIGAN..

AMEN.